The Moment
by zorya of the nightfall
Summary: It's a One shot with Nate & serena


**My Moment**

_The Moment Serena Leaves Nate starts to Have Crazy Dreams about her _

**_ This is an One shot_**

_One foot in front of the other, I struggle on. Memories of fear pain and loneliness rattle through my consciousness. Tears sting my eyes as a scream hides behind my ever trembling lips. My journey has been long and fruitless thus far, it has felt like forever and what have I accomplished? No… it has been forever. How long has it been? 5 years? 10 years? The weeks and months blur together. My memories have become lubricated with time, they slip from me and nothing I do can seem to force them to return. I see those who wander about around me, but they don't see me in return. They are sightless. We seem to live our lives seeing through blind men's eyes. Seeing only what others show us, stumbling from dark tunnel to dark alley shivering from thought of the unseen. We lack the strength to reverse this thoroughly taught process, because that would require opening our hearts to the world around us, to people around us. I wonder what it would be like, to be at peace. I feel so very tired. All those who I loved or depended on, or hated… are dead dying or have long been dead to me. Emotions long buried. I struggle forever forward following the example of the world beyond me. I hear voices from time to time, they try to reach me but they speak lies and filth. I feel as if I must remain strong, but I can't for the life of me point out why. Maybe someday ill understand if I survive. I am good at surviving. So very tired, I sit back for awhile and close my eyes._

_It was the worst kind of dream, nightmare really. Pure torturous ideas of happiness, joy, love, more importantly, being loved. How could anyone love a monster such as me? In this particular dream it seems I am a father to a beautiful little girl. The sight of her alone makes me cry. She is sitting upon my knee looking upon me with such admiration as I tell her a story. Usually when I have this dream there is a woman, a wife I assume? I do not see her now. These dreams are always distant, as if I'm watching a movie of someone else's experience of life. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. How I do so wish such a thing would be possible for one such as I. To hold such simple beauty in my arms. How wondrous. How painful. This will never come to pass. Why delude myself with such lies. It is so much easier to wonder numb through this life and await my end when it decides to grace itself upon me. I decided I had enough and turned to walk away. I stopped dead in my tracks… I heard a voice so pure it drew the breath right out of my lungs and left me drowning in my own sorrow. "Daddy, can we go sledding, please?" I dropped to my knees and wailed with grief. This has never happened before. Never before has my consciousness pushed it this far, tortured me this much. I lay there crying as I awaited the end._

_I awoke finally, feeling more tired than when I closed my eyes. I was shocked to find a girl sleeping next to me, her head on my shoulder and hand on my arm. Seemed about my age, very pleasant to look upon. Maybe I was talking in my sleep? Almost embarrassing, she must of tried to comfort me. I suppose the least I can do is let her rest. At least I have found some use upon this world, a human pillow. Humorous. It seemed an eternity while I stared up at the clouds before she woke. She blushed as she realize where she dozed off. I stared dumbfounded as I myself am not used to displaying such emotions. What a lucky girl I thought, living in her world where it's safe to feel. She suddenly looked sad and into my eyes. It was as though she felt my pain, or even shared in it. I couldn't imagine how such a thing was possible, but I couldn't discard the idea, there Is definitely a connection of sorts. Something about this girl. Without a word she threw herself upon me, wrapped her arms around me and buried her head into my chest. Time seemed to stop. It felt like forever before I even drew a breath. Before I realized it, I was sobbing into her shoulder uncontrollably. It felt as is everything that ever burdened me was scrambling away as fast as it could trying to shelter itself from this angels blessed light. It definitely seemed as if she had a glow about her. When I was done making a fool of myself, I broke the awkward embrace, just to find it didn't feel awkward at all. I stared into her eyes and she stared back. She smiled and I felt a spark ignite within me, causing me to do something I hadn't remembered doing with any amount of truth for years, I smiled back. The world itself seemed to fade into nothing as she touched her hand to my face. Was this a goddess who stood before me? Some mysterious creature who came here to end my misery and give me peace? I don't feel that Is far from the truth, but more so it feels as if my life is not about to end, but to begin. She let out a giggle that seemed to give my ever burdened heart wings, grabbed my hand and led me away from the wall we were leaning on. It didn't seem like we were walking all to long when we came to a forest. She pulled me on and showed me flowers and birds, told me to listen to the wind, and feel the trees breath. She showed me life in its most simple of forms, but in ways I never imagined possible. How was this possible? I am seeing things I have always seen. But my perception seems to of changed. Its like I feel the life all around me. Like I feel alive for the first time? As we stared off together through the trees at an expanse of water… together? I looked down at her looking out upon the horizon. Together. Is this what its like to feel connected to another person? How in such a short time is this possible. I feel as if I would die to keep her from harm, but, is this what it feels like to open your heart to another person? I feel as if in these last few moments I have experienced more then in all my years on this world combined. She placed her arm around my waist as I stare out onto the water along side her. Tears streamed down my cheek as I heard the voice from my dream once more. "Daddy, can we go sledding, please?". Only this time it wasn't torture. It was bliss. I feel hope. I feel complete. I feel loved._


End file.
